Cracked
by Rabiscar
Summary: Fracturing bones, throwing punches and swearing like longshoremen;who said the library was quiet? Lily and James are breaking and bonding during lunch hour and its causing a ruckus. ONE-SHOT. Rated T for strong language. R&R?


"Evans," James squinted at her, "your nose is all crooked," he screwed up his face and leaned forward to look at her more closely.

"Oh yeah four-eyes?" she shot him a scathing look. "Well you wear glasses, we all have our physical shortcomings, don't make me start picking on yours," she rolled her eyes and turned back toward her notes.

"Lily, no," he shook his head impatiently. "I think your nose is broken."

"What?" she panicked, her hands flying upward to gingerly feel out the damage. "Ouch!" she shrieked as her fingers made contact.

"I told you!" James cried. "How did you _not _notice that your nose was broken?" He asked in a strange combination of horror and bemusement.

"I don't know," she said looking bewildered. "Peeves did drop a brass candleholder on my face," she said thoughtfully. "And that really hurt, but I had to rush here for some last minute studying before the History of Magic quiz next period!"

"He dropped a candlestick on your face? And you didn't notice that it broke your nose?" He blurted out incredulously.

"I don't know, it hurt, but this quiz is really important!" she squealed.

"Oh my gobstones," James shook his head in disbelief. "You broke your nose and you ran to the library. This is ridiculous, we need to have a serious talk about your priorities-"

"Ok, POTTER, maybe later, huh? Broken nose, remember?" she said pointing frantically at her face. "What do I do?"

"I don't know, mend it, quick!" James urged her.

In a panic she whipped out her wand and pointed it at her face, nearly poking herself in the eye.

"Episkey!" she shouted. There was a crunch and Lily shrieked in pain.

"Are you alright?" James asked and peered into her face.

"No," she moaned; "I think I did it wrong," she said sloppily.

"What? How could you have- holy_ fuck_ Evans!"

"What?" She jumped to her feet. "Is it bad?"

"There's blood everywhere, your nose looks like its going to fall off!"

"Fuck, shit!" she swore violently and scrunched up her face.

"Okay, okay, punch me," she waved her hands as though trying to cool off.

"Punch you?" James bayed, "What the hell?"

"Just do it," she barked, "we have to break it so we can reset it properly."

"Fuck, Lily, I don't know if I can do this. . ."

"WOULD YOU JUST PUNCH ME IN THE FACE ALREADY?"

"Alright, okay, I'll do it!" he raised his hands defensively.

"Just make sure you do it hard," she instructed him, her voice steely, "I don't want to have to go through this twice."

"Okay, I got it," he took a deep breath. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," she said and jutted her chin up with her eyes squeezed shut.

James drew his arm back and-

THWACK!

"_Motherfucker!_" She cried and doubled over.

"What'd you do that for?" She shouted furiously.

"You said to make sure I did it hard!" he twitched in indignation.

"Yeah, but fuck Potter, you didn't have to _plough_ me!" She complained, her hands cupped around her nose.

"Merlin, I'm sorry, I'll-"

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"

Lily and James both jumped and spun around to see Madam Pince staring at them, her face flush and expression livid.

"Bellowing and cussing in a _library?_" she hissed looking scandalized.

"We're sorry-"

"OUT! OUT! OUT!" she screeched and started rounding the table, brandishing her wand threateningly.

James slung Lily's book bag over his shoulder and dragged her along by the arm as Madam Pince chased them out, flapping her arms wildly.

"Bat bogies, what's the matter with her, huh?" James asked as he straightened out his robes. "How's your face?"

"Swell," she said dryly. "Just mend it, would you?"

"Me? Why don't you do it, you're better at charms!"

"Yeah but it's a lot harder to charm your own-"

"What happened to you?" Sirius whistled as he ambled down the hall towards them. "You should really get her to the hospital wing," he jerked his thumb carelessly and sauntered into the library without a second glance.

"Hospital wing," Lily said through gritted teeth and stared murderously at James. "Why didn't _you_ think of that?"

"I don't know, why didn't you?" he asked.

"I'm the one who suffered physical trauma! I'm not thinking clearly! My face is broken!"

"Alright! I got it, its all my fault," he threw his arms up in exasperation. "Lets just go and get you fixed up. March!" he ordered as he turned her around by the shoulders.

So they marched. All the way up to the Hospital Wing.

"Madam Pomfrey, I broke my nose-"

"And then she tried to fix it with _Episkey_-"

"But that didn't work so Potter punched me-"

"She asked me to, I didn't want to! And now her face is mangled-"

"At least I don't look like I'm wearing a porcupine on my head!"

"What? What are you talking ab-"

"Your _HAIR_, POTTER. It sticks up and_ I_ think its _stupid_."

"SILENCE," Madam Pomfrey boomed.

Lily and James stopped talking at once and stared up at her sheepishly.

"Out! Out this instant!" The matron said sharply.

"But Madam Pomfrey, I really need your help!" Lily cried.

"Not you," she said impatiently; "Him, the boy must leave so I can fix you up. I can't have you bickering the whole time!"

"But Madam-" James protested.

"OUT!"

So James paced behind the heavy oak doors while Lily was charmed and bandaged and made to drink plenty of potion. Finally, the doors opened and Madam Pomfrey waved him in.

"Can I go yet?" he heard Lily call from behind a sterile, white curtain.

"Yes, you're free to go," Madam Pomfrey said looking relieved.

"Great, thanks," came Lily's voice as her shoes slapped down on the wood floor.

"How you feeling?" he asked when she appeared from behind the curtain.

"How do I look?" she asked sarcastically and pointed to the two dark bruises that had bloomed beneath her eyes.

"Hmm pretty badass," he admitted and held open the door for her.

"You're awful."

"No, I'd say you are," he smirked. "Prudish Lily Evans has quite a mouth on her, yeah? I don't think I've ever heard so many curse words in so short a time period."

She blushed but fired back, "I'm sure you've had plenty of curses directed at you, they were just of a different type," she said and waved her wand carelessly.

He chuckled and tucked his hands in his pockets, pausing next to her as they stopped on a moving staircase.

"But really, you alright?" he asked earnestly.

"Yeah," she swiped her red hair out of her face, "Can hardly feel it," she said brazenly.

He reached out and thumbed the bruise on her cheek tenderly.

"I still can't believe you didn't notice," he murmured, thinking of the candlestick holder falling down on her with a crack.

"Me neither," she said staring at him in puzzlement and thinking of something quite unrelated to any injuries that may have been sustained to her nose.

That staircase stopped moving with a sudden lurch causing James to swiftly remove his hand and Lily to turn away embarrassedly.

"Well thanks for coming with me to the hospital wing," she said stiffly and scuffed her shoes against the marble step.

"Yeah, no problem. . .sorry for punching you in the face."

"Eh, shit happens," she brushed him off and waved as he started to walk away down the corridor.

"HEY POTTER!" she shouted suddenly causing him to turn around expectantly.

She shrugged and made a face. "Your hair's alright."


End file.
